Life Passages

The Four Agreements

2011-02-07T21:59:00.004+08:00

From The Four Agreements, A Toltec Wisdom Book,
By Don Miguel Ruiz

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don’t Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment: it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self abuse and regret.

Making Sandcastles

2011-01-26T16:56:00.002+08:00

-Author Unknown

Hot sun. Salty air. Rhythmic waves.

A little boy is on his knees scooping and packing the sand with plastic shovels into a bright blue bucket.Then he upends the bucket on the surface and lifts it. and, to the delight of the little architect, a castle tower is created. All afternoon he will work. Spooning out the moat. Packing the walls. Bottle tops will be sentries. Popsicle sticks will be bridges. A sandcastle will be built.

Big city. Busy streets. Rumbling traffic.

A man is in his office. At his desk he shuffles papers into stacks and delegates assignments. He cradles the phone on his shoulder and punches the keyboard with his fingers. Numbers are juggled and contracts are signed and much to the delight of the man, a profit is made. All his life he will work. Formulating the plans. Forecasting the future. Annuities will be sentries. Capital gains will be bridges. An empire will be built. Two builders of two castles. They have much in common. They shape granules into grandeurs. They see nothing and make something. They are diligent and determined. And for both the tide will rise and the end will come.

Yet that is where the similarities cease. For the boy sees the end while the man ignores it. Watch the boy as the dusk approaches.

As the waves near, the wise child jumps to his feet and begins to clap. There is no sorrow. No fear. No regret. He knew this would happen. He is not surprised. And when the great breaker crashes into his castle and his masterpiece is sucked into the sea, he smiles. He smiles, picks up his tools, takes his father's hand, and goes home.

The grownup, however, is not so wise. As the wave of years collapses on his castle he is terrified. He hovers over the sandy monument to protect it. He blocks the waves from the walls he has made. Salt-water soaked and shivering he snarls at the incoming tide. "It's my castle," he defies. The ocean need not respond. Both know to whom the sand belongs...

I don't know much about sandcastles. But children do. Watch them and learn. Go ahead and build, but build with a child's heart. When the sun sets and the tides take - applaud. Salute the process of life and go home.

2010-11-30T12:49:00.003+08:00

Happiness is not something we find, it’s something we create…

2010-08-10T16:39:00.001+08:00

This story is about a beautiful, expensively dressed lady who complained to her psychiatrist that she felt that her whole life was empty, it had no meaning.

So, the lady went to visit a counselor to seek out happiness. The counselor called over the old lady who cleaned the office floors. The counselor then said to the rich lady"I'm going to ask Mary here to tell you how she found happiness. All I want you to do is listen to her."

So the old lady put down her broom and sat on a chair and told her story: "Well, my husband died of malaria and three months later my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody... I had nothing left. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I never smiled at anyone, I even thought of taking my own life.

Then one evening a little kitten followed me home from work. Somehow I felt sorry for that kitten. It was cold outside, so I decided to let the kitten in. I got it some milk, and the kitten licked the plate clean.

Then it purred and rubbed against my leg and for the first time in months, I smiled. Then I stopped to think, if helping a little kitten could make me smile, maybe doing something for people could make me happy. So the next day I baked some biscuits and took them to a neighbor who was sick in bed.

Every day I tried to do something nice for someone.It made me so happy to see them happy. Today, I don't know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do. I've found happiness, by giving it to others."

When she heard that the rich lady cried. She had everything that money could buy, but she had lost the things which money cannot buy.

Why Some People Have All the Luck

2010-05-01T21:18:00.009+08:00

by Professor Richard Wiseman, University of Hertfordshire

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: "Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50."

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it. Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties' intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.
Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Here are Professor Wiseman's four top tips for becoming lucky:

1) Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right
2) Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine
3) Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well
4) Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

The Paper Planes Story

2009-11-25T22:32:00.002+08:00

A teacher distributed some papers to the students in his class and told them to make paper planes out of them. When the students have finished making the paper planes, he asked them to throw them towards to the blackboard to see whose paper plane could fly the furthest. But none of the paper planes could reach their destination.

The teacher then took out a piece of paper and rolled it into a ball. He then threw it towards the blackboard, hitting it before it dropped to the floor.

The students were told that there were no set rules on how the paper planes should be folded and they should look at things from another perspective as by doing so, they would be able to fly further.

“Explore possibilities to open up new horizons and bring positive changes in your life”

Recipe For Joy

2009-11-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

Abraham Hicks offers a recipe for Joy.

For more information about the teachings of abraham visit www.abraham-hicks.com

Resilience

2009-09-29T22:27:00.004+08:00

Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe (definition from Wikipedia). Resilience is a quality that can get us through many of life's challenges with grace.

Here are some tips on how we can start developing the ability to be resilient:

- Focus on what you have control over, not on what you have no control over. It's kind of like the serenity prayer - we need to learn the difference, and recognize it. Some things we just have to let go of.

- Make connections. We all have the need for community, for a support system. We can find this in a club, a cause, a church, or any kind of a group where we can make friends.

-Be of service. Volunteer. Contributing to society gives us a feeling of purpose, and that helps us to build resilience.

-Stay fit. Body, mind, and spirit. Eat healthy foods, exercise both mentally and physically, and spend time in nature and in silence. Get into good habits.

-Express gratitude. Every day, count your blessings. Keeping a gratitude journal is a good way to do this. Gratitude helps us to keep things in perspective, and this is important with resilience.

-Pursue your passion. We have the desires we have for a reason. And we can use these to help us learn and grow. Doing what we love brings joy, which boosts our resilience!

(from The Power of Resilience: Achieving Balance, Confidence, and Personal Strength in Your Life by Robert Brooks)

The 10 Things In Life That You Can Control

2009-08-25T22:44:00.006+08:00

We humans spend much of our time trying to control every aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, too often we try and control things that are simply beyond our control. The list of what we can control is quite short, but once you know these 10 things you will be able to take control of your own life.

1.What you do: Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.

2.What you say: Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen.
Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.

3.What you think: Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.

4.Your work: Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say, "Oh, I'm! trapped in my job because I don't have a degree, experience, etc." That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place. It's your job and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that's a choice as well.

5.The people you associate with: There's a famous T-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys." Colloquial is very often correct! Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.

6.Your basic physical health. Much about our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure.Much more of our health is simply a matter of the decisions we make about our health, such as: diet, exercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.

7.The environment you live in: Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).

8.Your fiscal situation: Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.

9.Your time: You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your time to give to various activities.You'll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.

10.Your legacy: All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.

A Spiritual Conspiracy for Peaceful Entrepreneurs

2009-08-11T11:43:00.003+08:00

(Author Unknown)

On the surface of our world right now
There is war, violence, and craziness
And things may seem dark.

But calmly and quietly
At the same time
Something is happening underground.

An inner revolution is taking place
And certain individuals
Are being called to a higher light.

It is a silent revolution
From the inside out
From the ground up.

This is a global co-operation
That has sleeper cells in every nation.
It is a planetary Spiritual Conspiracy.

You won’t likely see us on T.V.
You won’t read about us in the newspaper.
You won’t hear from us on the radio.

We don’t seek glory.
We don’t wear any uniform.
We come in all shapes and sizes, colors and styles.

We are in every country and culture of the world
In cities big and small, mountains and valleys
In farms and villages, tribes and remote islands.

Most of us work anonymously
Seeking not recognition of name
But profound transformation of life.

Working quietly behind the scenes
You could pass by one of us on the street
And not even notice.

We go undercover
Not concerned for who takes the final credit
But simply that the work gets done.

Many of us may seem to have normal jobs.
But behind the external storefront
Is where the deeper work takes a place.

With the individual and collective power
Of our minds and hearts
We spread passion, knowledge, and joy to all.

Some call us the Conscious Army
As together
We co-create a new world.

Our orders come from the Spiritual Intelligence Agency
Instructing us to drop soft, secret love bombs
when no one is looking.

Poems ~ Hugs ~ Music ~ Photography ~ Smiles ~ Kind words
Movies ~ Meditation and prayer ~ Dance ~ Websites
Social activism ~ Blogs ~ Random acts of kindness…

We each express ourselves
In our own unique ways
With our own unique gifts and talents.

“Be the change you want to see in the world”
That is the motto that fills our hearts.
We know this is the path to profound transformation.

We know that quietly and humbly
Individually and collectively
We have the power of all the oceans combined.

At first glance our work is not even visible.
It is slow and meticulous
Like the formation of mountains.

And yet with our combined efforts
Entire tectonic plates
Are being shaped and moved for centuries to come.

Love is the religion we come to share
And you don’t need to be highly educated
Or have exceptional knowledge to understand it.

Love arises from the intelligence of the heart
Embedded in the timeless evolutionary pulse
Of all living beings.

Be the change you want to see in the world.
Nobody else can do it for you.
Yet don’t forget, we are all here supporting you.

We are now recruiting.
Perhaps you will join us
Or already have.

For in this spiritual conspiracy
All are welcome, and all are loved.
The door is always open.

The Power of Positive Talk

2009-07-30T09:58:00.004+08:00

by the GREAT Dr. ABDUL KALAM

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success. One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree. I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do. Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.
If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite." People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism. These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction. So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.
Notice when you or other people use them.
But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Try: Presupposes failure.
If: Presupposes that you may not.
Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..
Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"
Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise:
Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

The Good News Girl

2009-07-19T23:05:00.004+08:00

by Mac Anderson

One of the most wonderful things about having a positive attitude is the number of people it touches, many times in ways you'll never know.

Recently, I stopped by a convenience store to get a newspaper and a pack of gum. The young woman at the check-out counter said, "That'll be five dollars please," and as I reached into my wallet, the thought occurred to me that a newspaper and gum didn't quite make it to five dollars. When I looked up to get a "re-quote", she had a big smile on her face and said, "Gotcha! I got to get my tip in there somehow!" I laughed when I knew I'd been had. She then glanced down at the paper I was buying and said, "I'm sick and tired of all this negative stuff on the front pages. I want to read some good news for a change." She then said, "In fact, I think someone should just publish a Good News newspaper -a paper with wonderful, inspirational stories about people overcoming adversity and doing good things for others. I'd buy one every day!" She then thanked me for coming in and said, "Maybe we'll get lucky tomorrow; maybe we'll get some good news," and she laughed. She made my day.

The following day after my business appointments, I dropped by the same store again to pick up bottled water, but a different young lady was behind the counter. As I checked out I said, "Good afternoon" and handed her my money for the water. She said nothing – not a word, not a smile...nothing. She just handed me my change and in a negative tone, ordered..."Next!"

It hit me right between the eyes: Two people, same age; one made me feel great, and the other, well, made me feel that I had inconvenienced her by showing up.

By the choices we make, by the attitudes we exhibit, we are influencing lives every day in positive or negative ways...our family, our peers, our friends, and even strangers we've never met before and will never meet again.

So when you brush your teeth every morning, and get ready for work, ask yourself this important question, "Who do I want to be today?" "The Grouch" or "The Good News Girl?" Your answer will go a long way toward determining your success in business and in life.

Where are You Dabbling and Where are You Committed?

2009-06-25T07:49:00.006+08:00

By Stacey Mayo

Sometimes when I have a new idea, I jump in head first .... Sometimes I let it percolate a bit before deciding to go forward ... and sometimes I dabble in it - trying a little here and a little there - seeing how people respond - does this have legs - what will happen if I do this? All of that is fine and the truth is, the idea or program or project or business never gets very far if all I do is dabble. I have proof positive of this from my own experience and I bet you do too. However, when I have really committed to things, I have often seen extraordinary results - beyond which I imagined.

Where have you been dabbling? Have you been dabbling with a business idea? With a new program or product for your business? With the idea for a book?

When I get off the dabbling stool and decide to go for it, that's when things begin to happen. That's when I see forward momentum. It doesn't guarantee me success. Some products and programs and ideas have certainly worked better than others. That's okay as long as I learn from it and keep going. It's my opportunity to see what to do different at the next step or stage or program or business.

The fear of failure or fear of success (or some similar derivation) can keep you in dabbling mode forever if you let it.

The key to remember is that if you keep on just dabbling, you are setting yourself up for failure - your idea can never achieve much success from this place.

If you have a fear of success, then it may be time to look at and get support in doing things differently then you have done them before (or watched others who worked too hard). Success does not have to look like working to exhaustion. As a matter of fact, the more I am willing to look at doing things differently, the easier and more enjoyable success gets.

No matter how successful you are, likelihood is there is some idea you are dabbling with. What is in the way of you committing to this idea? To really going for it? To playing it out to see what is possible? To see what kind of an impact you can have if you just get out of your own way?

I encourage you to make a decision one way or another but to quit dabbling. Either decide to go for this idea in a way that is exciting and fun for you or let it go. (or if you have too many ideas to work on at once, put this idea in a folder for later).

When you make a commitment you don't have to know all the how's - you probably know one thing you could do right now. Maybe that one thing is to get support. Remember no man or woman is an island. Whatever that step is, take it. And keep committing to taking one step after another each day. You will be amazed at what happens.

(Taken from Living Your Dreams -The Internet Newsletter of the Center for Balanced Living)

"It's human nature to get distracted by minor issues. We play Trivial Pursuit with our lives. Henry David Thoreau observed that people live lives of "quiet desperation," but today a better description is aimless distraction. Many people are like gyroscopes spinning around at a frantic pace but never going anywhere" - Rick Warren

The Cross

2009-06-03T13:01:00.029+08:00

No Pain No Gain… Accept the Pain, Future will be Fruitful…
Don ' t feel the work you are doing is pain, because there will be always a reason for that pain or work.

"In this age, which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest lesson to be learned is that the most difficult way is, in the long run, the easiest."- Miller, Henry Valentine

Having What It Takes to Win

2009-05-28T08:11:00.002+08:00

There was a young woman who had taken ballet lessons all through her childhood, and now she felt that she was ready to commit herself to the study and discipline necessary to make a career of it. She wanted to be a prima ballerina, but first she wanted to be sure that she had a special talent. So when the ballet company came to town she went backstage after the performance and spoke to the ballet master.

"I want to be a great ballerina," she said, "but I don't know if I have the talent."

"Dance for me," the master said, and after only a minute or so he shook his head. "No, no," he said. "You don't have what it takes."

The young woman went home, heartbroken. She tossed her ballet slippers in the closet and never wore them again. Instead, she got married & had babies, and when the kids were old enough she took a part-time job running a cash register at the convenience store.

Years later she attended the ballet, and on the way out she ran into the old master, now in his eighties. She reminded him that they had spoken before. She showed him photos of her kids and told him about the job at the convenience store, and then she said, "There's just one thing that's always bothered me. How could you tell so quickly that I didn't have what it takes?"

"Oh, I barely looked at you when you danced," he said. "That's what I tell all of them who come to me."

"But that's unforgivable," she cried. "You ruined my life. Maybe I could have been a great prima ballerina."

"No, I don't think so," said the old master. "If you had had what it takes you wouldn't have paid any attention to what I said."

Winners never quit and quitters never win!

I Can't Wait To See What Good Comes Out of This Situation

2009-05-22T18:29:00.002+08:00

by Mary Rau-Foster

Have you found yourself facing one challenging situation after another, posing a threat to your happiness, hopefulness, and peace of mind? Would you like to find another way to deal with those challenging situations? If so, let Johanna in the following story be your guide.

Johanna woke up one morning feeling very sad because she and her boyfriend had broken up the night before. She somehow knew that he was not "right" for her, but she had been unable to end their relationship. She had also been told a week ago that her company was downsizing and, as a result, she would be laid off. As she was lying in her bed pondering the situation, her eyes fell on a framed cross-stitch piece that her deceased mother had made for her.

The piece quoted her mother's favorite saying, "I can't wait to see what good will come out of this situation." Johanna's mother was very wise and lived her short life in peace and contentment. Johanna found immediate comfort in the quotation, knowing that the words held power that could change a negative attitude into a positive one. She allowed the saying to permeate her mind as she rose and prepared for her day.

Johanna's day was to get more challenging. Her car would not start and she was going to be late for a job interview. As she stood staring helplessly at her "dead" car, the words again come to her... "I can't wait to see what good is going to come out of this situation."

As she was contemplating what she was going to do, she was approached by her next door neighbor, a very kind (and single) gentleman who offered her assistance. She accepted a ride from this man who she knew only by sight and to whom she had never spoken. As he was driving her to her appointment, she explained her job situation and the need to find another position. It happened that his company was looking for someone with her skills and background. Johanna interviewed with his company, and she accepted a position in her "dream job." She also entered into a very meaningful relationship with her "rescuer."

As Johanna was contemplating her good luck in finding a job and a relationship, she realized that she had been open and receptive to the good that would come out of the unfortunate situations in which she found herself. She learned the power of those words, "I can't wait to see what good is coming out of this situation."

It may be difficult to look for the good in those trying or devastating situations in which we may find ourselves. However, if we will take the time to review the wondrous events in our lives, we may find that many of them had their roots in adverse situations. In fact, if it were not for those challenging events, we may not have been the recipients of the good fortune that we received as a result of the adversity.

“I will look for the good in every challenging situation that occurs to me this week. I will change my life by changing my thinking about challenging events. I will claim the good, knowing that it will come to me.”

Violinist in the Metro

2009-05-16T16:48:00.008+08:00

This is an incredibly sad story. It is a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people.

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

My Present for My Mother for Mother's Day

2009-05-11T08:52:00.004+08:00

I am sure many of us buy presents for our parents on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and on their birthdays. But, do you really take the trouble to buy a present that they really need?

For this year’s Mother’s Day, I am very proud to say that I bought a present for my mom that she really needs. My mom has been complaining that her feet hurt whenever she has to walk for some period of time, especially after an outing with us.

I decided to buy her a new pair of sandals but I needed to make sure that they fit her. So, last Sunday, after our grocery shopping, I took her to a shoe shop and ask her to try some of the sandals there. She tried a few pairs and there was one pair that she really liked. She said it was very comfortable and it fit her feet very well but she did not let me buy the sandals after looking at the price. Even when I tried to convince her, she was very adamant about it. So we left without buying the sandals.

On Friday after work, I went to the shoe shop and bought the sandals and gave them to her. She scolded me for buying the sandals and I told her since I already bought the sandals, she has to accept them. I told her to wear them the next day as we were going to the Buddhist temple for the Wesak Day prayers. She was still complaining about me buying her such an expensive pair of sandals although it was only RM80.00. But I could see that she like the sandals because she showed them to my sisters and she did not want to take off the sandals to go into the temple for the blessing ceremony as she was afraid that someone will steal them.

Most of us, I think would not hesitate to buy a pair of shoes that we like for ourselves without thinking about the cost. But for my mother, she will really think long and hard before she will buy a pair of shoes that only cost RM19.90, which is the cost of the most expensive pair of shoes she bought for herself. I think it is because of all the hardships that she had endured in her life especially having to bring up six children.

I hope that by sharing this story, you all will really put more thought in the presents that you buy for your parents. It is not the value (or cost) of the present but how much thought you put into getting the present. I know people say it is the thought that counts, so make sure the thought really counts!

What is a Mother?

2009-05-08T16:56:00.005+08:00

A Mother is one who understands the things you say and do
Who always overlooks your faults and sees the best in you

A Mother is one whose special love inspires you day by day
Who fills your heart with gladness in her warm and thoughtful way

A Mother is like an angel, although without the wings
She tells you to enjoy life's most smallest things

A Mother is all these things and more
- the greatest treasure known.

Life Challenges

2009-05-06T08:02:00.003+08:00

A group of people who had gathered together began to share some of their problems and frustrations. At one point, the facilitator of the group asked them to stop, take a moment to reflect and to write down five problems that they were facing in their lives at this time. He then asked them to fold the papers and place them in a basket that he was passing around.

When all had put their papers into the basket, he mixed them all up and then passed the basket around again instructing the people to remove a paper from the basket and quietly read the paper that they had selected. He then asked if anyone in the room would choose to exchange their own problems for those listed on the paper that they had drawn. No one did. No one wanted to. No one felt that their problems were worse than the ones experienced by the author of the list that they held.

It seems unfair, and sometimes overwhelming, to face hardships and threats to life, safety, security, well-being and happiness. We may not understand the reasons for the pain and fear that result from these life challenges. Nonetheless, they offer the greatest opportunity for growth and emergence of inner strength that was heretofore unrecognized in ourselves.

"In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it" - Norman Vincent Peale

Choose Inspiration Movie

2009-05-01T16:48:00.003+08:00

Choose how you want to live your life. Choose to enjoy life and all its possibilites.

Click here to watch the mini-movie.

If and When Were Planted

2009-04-27T15:48:00.004+08:00

By Catherine Pulsifer

How is "if and when" planted? The short stories below are examples of planting "if and when":

Karen, one of my coworkers was stressed about where she was living. She hated the apartment she was in and complained every day about it. One day over coffee, I asked her why she didn't look for another apartment - it seemed like an easy solution to me. Karen's reply to this was, "I will look for another apartment when I come back from vacation."

Sam hated his job. He dreaded getting up in the morning. He hated the work he was doing and it started to take a toll on him. He had a love for photography and was currently taking a two-year course to obtain his certificate. Every night he complained about his work. After listening to his complaints for a month, I asked him why he didn't finish his course and start a small business doing photography on the weekends. His reply, "if only I had more time to finish my course. When I finish my course I will start a business."

Sarah had saved all her life and now was retired and living comfortably. The house she bought had a dishwasher in it; however, the dishwasher was old and didn't work. She hated doing dishes, and every time we visited with her she complained about doing the dishes. One night, I asked her, "Why don't you buy a new dishwasher Sarah." Her reply, "I have been thinking about it, if they would only come on sale I would."

Larry worked for a company that allowed early retirement. Larry had both the years of service and his age, which allowed him to retire, but at a reduced pension. He was having difficulty coping with all the changes that were being made in his work. He had a couple of mild attacks, not a heart attack but similar to one. He called me and we talked for hours. I was worried about the stress of his job and the effects it was having on his health. "Why don't you retire Harry? Do something that you have always wanted to do," I asked. Harry's reply to my question was, "If only I was older then I would get my full pension." I got bolder in my conversation with him, "But Harry, you have your house paid off, you have no bills, the kids are grown up. You could sell your house and downsize, it really is not worth your health is it? Harry then said, "When the summer comes maybe I will."

All of these stories have the same theme running through them. There is a proverb that says it all: "If and when were planted, and nothing grew."

Now a year later,
Karen is still living in the apartment she hates!
Sam is still complaining about his job and still has not finished his course!
Sarah is still washing dishes!
Larry is still working and his health is not what it used to be!

The sad part of all of these stories is that all of these people had a lot of stress in their lives that they could have taken action to reduce. But, all of them defeated themselves by thinking "if" or "when". Life is too short for "if's and when's".

The next time you are in a stressful situation and you find yourself saying or thinking - "if or when" - remember the saying, "If and when were planted and nothing grew!" Change your thinking and take action, so that you can reduce your stress right now.

Today is Earth Day

2009-04-22T14:26:00.004+08:00

In conjunction with Earth Day, I would like to share this poem taken from CanTeach.

Our Earth

The Earth is ours to enjoy
For every little girl and boy.
But we must always be aware.
That all its beauty we must share
With all the children yet to come,
Who want to laugh and play and run
Around the trees and in the fields.

So we must keep our planet free
From messy trash and debris
With air that's clean and fresh and clear
For all to breathe from year to year.
We must never ever abuse
Our sweet Earth that's ours to use.

Perseverance

2009-04-19T14:55:00.006+08:00

by Dr. John C. Maxwell

Perseverance is not an issue of talent. It is not an issue of time. It is about finishing. Talent provides hope for accomplishment, but perseverance guarantees it.

Running Past Failure

As a small child, Vonetta (Jeffrey) Flowers dreamed about being in the Olympics. She ran everywhere she went, and gained a reputation among her school friends for being quick. At age nine, Vonetta learned she had special talent. While trying out for an inner-city track club in her hometown of Birmingham, she shocked coaches by posting the best sprint time for Jonesboro Elementary School - running faster than boys two years older than she was!

Vonetta's immense talent carried her to the University of Alabama-Birmingham on a track-and-field scholarship. While at the university, she continued to pursue her goal of gaining a spot on the Olympic team. She practiced meticulously to perfect her stride, spent hours in the weight room adding strength, and ran grueling intervals to shave seconds off her sprint times. Thanks to her combination of talent and discipline, Vonetta ended her college career as a 7-time All-American, competing in the 100 meter and 200 meter sprints, long jump, triple jump, heptathlon, and relays.

With her college career finished, Vonetta set her sights on the 1996 Olympics. Unfortunately, she failed to qualify for the team, running slightly behind the leaders. The failure stung, but Vonetta was determined not to give up. She found a job as an assistant coach and continued her regimen of training.

For the next four years, Vonetta put her body through punishing workouts with an eye on the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. In her words, "I devoted countless hours to lifting weights, eating right, and staying mentally tough. I knew that my time as an athlete was coming to an end, and I'd hoped that the 2000 Olympic trials would prove to be my year to finally find out what it's like to be an Olympian."

In June 2000, Vonetta lined up again to run at the U.S. Olympic Trials. Unfortunately, Vonetta placed 13th, and she failed to make the Olympic squad. Although one of the fastest women in America, she wasn't in the select group to represent the United States in Sydney. After 17 years of training, she had come up empty in her quest for the Olympics.

Two days after her second painful failure in the Olympic Trials, Vonetta's husband spotted an advertisement for tryouts for the United States Olympic bobsled team. He convinced her to go to the tryouts. Growing up in the South, Vonetta was not accustomed to cold and snow, and she knew next to nothing about bobsledding. However, at the tryouts her unusual blend of speed and strength proved to be ideal qualities for a brakewoman (the person who pushes the bobsled to give it initial momentum and then hops in with the driver). Vonetta was chosen for the team.

Vonetta's decision to join the bobsled team came with a price - two more years of a strict diet, sore muscles, and countless hours dedicated to attaining peak physical fitness. It also meant delaying her dream to be a mom. However, her years of perseverance paid off. Not only did Vonetta achieve her lifelong goal of competing in the Olympics, but she also became the first African-American to win a gold medal in the winter Olympics!

Perseverance punctuates talent

Vonetta's talent seemed almost limitless, but it wouldn't have carried her to the Olympics without an admirable measure of perseverance. Life seems designed to make a person quit. For even the most talented individual, obstacles abound, and failures are commonplace. Only when a person matches talent with perseverance do opportunities become avenues of success.

Perseverance means succeeding because you are determined to, not destined to

If Vonetta had seen her Olympic dream as a matter of destiny than she likely would have given up after her second failure to make the track and field team. After 17 years of training, the results signaled that her dream wasn't meant to be. She had no natural reason to be hopeful about her prospects. However, she pressed on, determined to find a way to take hold of her goals, and in the end, she was rewarded with success.

Perseverance means stopping, not because you're tired, but because the task is done

Perseverance doesn't come into play until a person is tired. A year or two after college, Vonetta still was riding the excitement of her collegiate track and field championships. She was young, energetic, and optimistic about the future. Nothing was telling her to stop, and consequently she needed nothing extra to keep going.

However, after a taste of disappointment at the Olympic Trials, fatigue and discouragement crept up on Vonetta. The mountain of work in front of her began to look more and more daunting, and her dream began to be a little harder to imagine. Nonetheless, Vonetta persevered. She kept believing, she kept training, and she kept running until she finally caught up with success.

Dr John C. Maxwell is an internationally recognized leadership expert, speaker, and author who has sold over 16 million books.

The 7 Keys to Success

2009-04-17T14:50:00.002+08:00

Click here to watch the mini movie for a bit of inspiration on the 7 Keys to Success.

The Four Candles

2009-04-14T11:26:00.002+08:00

The four candles burn slowly.
The ambiance was so soft you could hear them talking.
The first one said “I am PEACE! but these days, nobody wants to keep me lit. I believe I will go out.”
Its flame rapidly diminishes and goes out completely.
The second one said “I am FAITH! Nowadays, I am no longer indispensable, so it doesn’t make any sense that I stay lit any longer”
When it finished talking, a breeze softly blew on it, putting it out.
Sadly, the third candle spoke in its turn, “I am LOVE! I haven’t got the strength to stay lit. People put me aside and don’t understand my importance. They even forget to love those who are nearest to them.”
And waiting no longer, it goes out.
Suddenly, a child enters the room and sees three candles not burning.
“Why are you not burning? You are supposed to stay lit till the end”.
Saying this, the child starts to cry.
Then the fourth candle said “Don’t be afraid. While I am still burning, we can relight the other candles, I AM HOPE!”
With shining eyes, the child took the candle of hope and lit the other candles.

The flame of Hope should never go out from your life, so that you will always have Faith, Peace and Love in your life!

The House of 1000 Mirrors

2009-04-10T09:27:00.003+08:00

(Japanese Folktale)

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."

In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?

The Teacher

2009-04-07T11:01:00.003+08:00

Jean Thompson stood in front of her fifth-grade class on the very first day of school in the fall and told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her pupils and said that she loved them all the same, that she would treat them all alike. And that was impossible because there in front of her, slumped in his seat on the third row, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were unkept and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy was unpleasant.

It got to the point during the first few months that she would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then marking the F at the top of the paper biggest of all. Because Teddy was a sullen little boy, no one else seemed to enjoy him, either.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's records and put Teddy's off until last. When she opened his file, she was in for a surprise. His first-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright, inquisitive child with a ready laugh." "He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around."

His second-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy continues to work hard but his mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class. He is tardy and could become a problem."

By now Mrs. Thompson realized the problem, but Christmas was coming fast. It was all she could do, with the school play and all, until the day before the holidays began and she was suddenly forced to focus on Teddy Stoddard.

Her children brought her presents, all in beautiful ribbon and bright paper, except for Teddy's, which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper of a scissored grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents.

Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of cologne. She stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume behind the other wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed behind just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my mom used to."

After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and speaking. Instead, she began to teach children. Jean Thompson paid particular attention to one they all called "Teddy."

As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. On days where there would be an important test, Mrs. Thompson would remember that cologne. By the end of the year he had become one of the smartest children in the class and...well, he had also become the "pet" of the teacher who had once vowed to love all of her children exactly the same.

A year later she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that of all the teachers he'd had in elementary school, she was his favorite. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy.

He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still his favorite teacher of all time.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson she was still his favorite teacher.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still his favorite teacher, but that now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that Spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering...well, if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the pew usually reserved for the mother of the groom. And guess what, she wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And I bet on that special day, Jean Thompson smelled just like...well, just like the way Teddy remembered his mother smelling on their last Christmas together.

You never can tell what type of impact you may make on another's life by your actions or lack of action. Consider this fact in your venture thru life.

The Mountain Story

2009-04-02T11:37:00.003+08:00

A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:

"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"

He receives the answer: "Who are you?"

Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"

He receives the answer: "Coward!"

He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"

The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."

And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"

The voice answers: "I admire you!"

Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"

The voice answers: "You are a champion!"

The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.

If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life; Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!

The Wolves Within

2009-03-30T10:53:00.006+08:00

An old Grandfather, whose grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."

"But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eye and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather solemnly said, "The one I feed."

It is up to you to decide which wolf in your heart you want to control your feelings and emotions. Anger will only wears you down and it won't help the situation. So, be constantly aware of which wolf inside you, you feed each day. They are both there, both waiting to be fed. It is up to you to choose which wolf to feed. Which wolf did you feed today?

Game of Life

2009-03-26T13:18:00.005+08:00

(Author Unknown)

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass.

If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.

How? Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as they would your life, for without them, life is meaningless. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way.
Yesterday is History,
Tomorrow is a Mystery and
Today is a gift: that's why we call it The Present.

Two Days

2009-03-24T08:15:00.007+08:00

(Author Unknown)

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born. This leaves only one day, Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, Yesterday and Tomorrow, that we break down.

It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.

The Nurture Movie

2009-03-19T08:11:00.004+08:00

Have you ever heard the term "bloom where you are planted"? It's a theory about finding ways to thrive within your current situation and surroundings.

Please click here to watch the movie.

Fixing the Ship Engine

2009-03-16T08:25:00.008+08:00

Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster.

He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer.

He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life.

He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"

So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer .. $ 2.00

Knowing where to tap .. $ 9998.00

Owners understood and sent a cheque for $10000.

I find this story very informative. Not only you should have a skill. You must know when and where to exercise the skill. Precision is very important for success. How to be precise?

Knowledge and practice of decision making makes you better in everything you do. So before you do anything, gather knowledge before you exercise your choice.

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.

Who Packed Your Parachute?

2009-03-10T09:33:00.007+08:00

(Author Unknown)

Charles Plumb, a US Naval Academy graduate, was a jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb. "I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man grabbed his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"

Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb kept wondering what the man might have looked like in a Navy uniform. He wondered how many times he might have seen him and not even said good morning, how are you or anything, because you see, he was a fighter pilot and the man was just a sailor. Plumb thought of the many hours that sailor had spent in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he did not know.

Now Plumb asks his audience, "Who is packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. Plumb also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down. As you go through your week, month, and even New Year, recognize the people who have packed your parachute and enabled you to get where you are today!

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason.

Ten Ways to Worry Less and Accomplish More

2009-03-06T12:11:00.004+08:00

(Author Unknown)
1. Don't think of problems as difficulties. Think of them as opportunities for action.

2. After you've done your best to deal with a situation, avoid speculating about the outcome. Forget it and go onto the next thing.

3. Keep busy. Keep the 24 hours of your day filled with these three ingredients: work, recreation, and sleep. Don't allow yourself time for abstract thinking.

4. Don't concern yourself with things you can't do anything about. Armchair generals don't win battles, but they do have nervous breakdowns.

5. For the time being anyway, eliminate daydreaming completely. Stop building air castles.

6. Don't procrastinate. Putting off an unpleasant task until tomorrow simply gives you more time for your imagination to make a mountain out a possible molehill. More time for anxiety to sap your self-confidence. Do it now, brother, do it now.

7. Don't pour woes and anxieties to other people. You don't want their sympathy - it'll merely make it easy for you to feel sorrier for yourself.

8. Get up as soon as you wake up. If you lie in bed, you may use up as much nervous energy living your day in advance as you would in actual accomplishment of the day's work.

9. Try to arrange your schedule so that you will not have to hurry. Hurry, a blood brother to worry, helps shatter poise and self-confidence, and contributes to fear and anxiety.

10. If a project seems too big, break it up into simple steps of action. Then negotiate those steps-link rungs in a ladder...one at a time. And don't allow yourself to think about the difficulties of step number two until you've executed step number one.

What were you worried about this time last year?
Can't remember?

"This day and your life ... are God's gift to you, so give thanks and be joyful always!"

Through The Journey of Life

2009-03-02T15:35:00.005+08:00

(Author Unknown)

Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all of the days of your life.

Do not give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is too hold it too tightly.
In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings

Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Mom's Wisdom

2009-02-26T08:04:00.002+08:00

by Catherine Pulsifer

My Mom is in her seventies, and has seen a lot in her lifetime. She faced challenges that we all face one way or the other. She has seen successes and many happy times throughout her life.

Recently, we were talking and I asked her if she could give me just three pieces of advice to live my life what would they be. After some thought, she said she would have to think about it. It surprised me that she wanted time to think about it. She always was free with her advice sometimes even when I didn't want to hear it.

I arrived at her house the next day where she handed me a piece of paper with her three pieces of wisdom written out. She explained to me that if she was only able to give me three, that these three were the most important.

As I read them, I realized the importance of what she was telling me. She wasn't telling me to save my money, nor was she telling me to work hard. Her 3 most important things to live a happy life were truly pieces of wisdom.

What were they? Here is the wisdom my Mom shared with me:

1. Make each new day count by helping someone or just making someone smile.
2. Don't dwell on life's troubles, think of the good times.
3. Don't worry about things you can't do anything about.

This was an interesting thing to do. Perhaps, like me, you have someone in your life that has been there for you, no matter what. My Mom has always been one of my biggest supporters and the wisdom she has given me over the years has helped shaped the person I am today.

Ask that person in your life to give you three pieces of advice to live a good life. You may be pleasantly surprised by the answers you get.

"You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside" - Wayne Dyer

Spilt Milk

2009-02-23T11:13:00.006+08:00

A famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?

He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk!

When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, “Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?”

Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, “You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?” He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.

His mother then said, “You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let’s go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it.” The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!

This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn’t need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment “doesn’t work,” we usually learn something valuable from it.

Without mistakes we don't learn, we can't get better at what we do and we don't find out what is wrong.

When we make mistakes we can:
-look at things differently and find new solutions
-think creatively and find many possible answers
-find many ways of solving a problem
-find rules that are 'old' and no longer of use, whether they be rules of society or rules of our minds
-find a solution to solve another problem
-have a sense of humour
-find a new way of thinking
-change directions so we don't keep on doing the wrong thing
-learn about new things.

"To make no mistakes is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future" - Plutarch

Slow Down Culture

2009-02-20T08:26:00.003+08:00

(Author unknown)

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold several meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

The first time I was in Sweden , one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think we should help them too?" Imagine my face!

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US 's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!"

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means re-establishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Thanks for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalized world!

Stopped By A Brick

2009-02-18T13:24:00.002+08:00

About ten years ago, a young and very successful executive named Josh was traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in his sleek, black, 12-cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed out and -- WHUMP! -- it smashed into the Jag's shiny black side door! SCREECH...!!!! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown.

Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on. "That's my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"

"Please, mister, please...I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop!"

Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car. "It's my brother, Mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat.

Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12-cylinder Jaguar XKE - a long and slow walk.

Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention.

At times in our lives, we tend to become so wrapped up in other things. We become focused on ourselves or our job we do not realize there are others around us that need our help.

We can react in a negative way to a situation without fully realizing or taking the time to look at the other persons situation. Or to take the time to find out the reason the other person has taken the action that they did.

"Don't let the bricks in life hit you, be sensitive to those around you." - Catherine Pulsifer

The Clock

2009-02-17T08:03:00.002+08:00

This clock had sat on the mantle for years. And it ran and ran. One day, the clock began to think about how many times it had to tick during the year. It counted up the seconds - it would have to tick 31,536,000 times a year. The clock seemed overwhelmed - "I can't do it, that is just too much." So the clock stopped ticking. Then somebody reminded the clock that it didn't have to tick the 31,536,000 seconds all at one time, but rather one tick at a time. The clock then realized this was okay and started ticking again!

When we set our goals, it is good to visualize the end results. But, getting to our goal is doing a little bit every day; not doing it all at once. So the next time you find yourself overwhelmed by your goal, remember the clock and the number of ticks - do a little bit every day and over time you will reach your goal. Believe me, reaching your goal is worth it!

The Cow And The Pig

2009-02-13T15:31:00.007+08:00

There was once a man who was very rich and very miserly at the same time.. The villagers disliked him intensely. One day he said to them, "Either you're jealous of me or you don't understand my love of money-God alone knows.. But you dislike me; that much I know. When I die, I won't take anything with me. I will leave it all for others. I will make a will, and I will give everything to charity. Then everyone will be happy."

Even then people mocked and laughed at him. The rich man said to them, "What is the matter with you? Can't you wait a few years to see my money go to charity?"

The villagers didn't believe him. He said, "Do you think I'm immortal? I'll die like everyone else, and then my money will go to charities." He couldn't understand why they didn't believe him.

One day he went for a walk. All of a sudden it started raining heavily, so he took shelter under a tree. Under this tree he saw a pig and a cow. The pig and the cow entered into conversation, and the man overheard what they were saying.

The pig said to the cow, "How is it that everybody appreciates you and nobody appreciates me? When I die, I provide people with bacon, ham and sausage. People can also use my bristles. I give three or four things, whereas you give only one thing: milk. Why do people appreciate you all the time and not me?"

The cow said to the pig, "Look, I give them milk while I'm alive. They see that I am generous with what I have. But you don't give them anything while you're alive. Only after you're dead do you give ham, bacon and so forth. People don't believe in the future; they believe in the present. If you give while you are alive, people will appreciate you. It is quite simple."

From that moment on, the rich man has started to follow the advice.

It might cost us time, money, stepping out of our comfort zone, or sacrificing our own needs, but the rewards of giving are priceless. When we give, we reap the joy of seeing a bright smile, laughter, tears, joy, and gratitude. Giving is one of the best ways to share our joy, love and gratitude for life!

"There is no joy in possession without sharing - Erasmo da Rotterdam"

The Tiny Frogs

2009-02-10T13:34:00.007+08:00

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began.

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!

They will NEVER make it to the top."or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one,except for those who in a fresh tempo were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell,

"It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But ONE continued higher and higher and higher... This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who after a big effort was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how the one who succeeded had found the strength to reach the goal?

It turned out. That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is: Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic, cause they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you. The ones you have in your heart! Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions! Therefore always be positive and above all Be DEAF when people tell YOU that YOU can not fulfil YOUR dreams! Always think: I can do this!

Parable Of The Pencil

2009-02-05T17:28:00.003+08:00

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

"There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish.

Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.

The Mental Chain

2009-02-02T11:09:00.004+08:00

Most people are like the circus elephant. Have you ever seen a giant elephant in an indoor arena tied to a little wooden stake. That huge creature can pick up two thousand pounds with its trunk, yet it calmly stays tied. Why?

When that elephant was just a baby, and not very strong, it was tied by a huge chain to an iron stake that could not be moved. Regardless of how hard it tried, it could not break the chain and run free. After it a while it just gave up. Later, when it is strong, it never attempts to break free. The "imprint" is permanent. "I can't! I can't!' it says.

There are millions of people who behave like this creature of the circus. They have been bound, tied and told "You'll never make it," so many times they finally call it quits. They may have dreams, but the "imprinting" keeps pulling them back.

Today, eliminate the source of your limitations. When you mentally break free, the boundaries will be removed from your future.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

2009-01-23T09:30:00.000+08:00

I would like to wish everyone "Happy Chinese New Year". May the Year of the Ox brings prosperity, good health, peace and happiness to everyone. Gong Xi Fa Cai!

The Three Bulls

2009-01-22T13:30:00.007+08:00

A young man wished to marry the farmer's beautiful daughter. He went to the farmer to ask his permission.

The farmer looked at him and said, "Son, go stand out in that field. I'm going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you can marry my daughter."

The young man stood in the field awaiting the first bull. The barn door opened and out came the biggest, meanest looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull pass through.

The barn door opened again. Unbelievable. He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life. It stood pawing the ground, it eyed him. Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this one he thought. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through.

The door opened a third time. A smile came across his face. This was the weakest bull he had ever seen. This one was his bull, he said to himself. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just right and jumped at just the exact moment. He threw his hands to grab.....But alas.... The bull had no tail.

Many a times we let a good thing or opportunity passed, thinking that something better will come along. We often regret that we had not taken the chances when we had the opportunity. So, be ready when opportunity comes and grab it, for you might have to wait your entire life for the next one to come along.

"Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along"- Hugh Allen

The Carpenter

2009-01-19T13:55:00.005+08:00

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business to live a more leisurely life with his wife and enjoy his extended family. He would miss the paycheck each week, but he wanted to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but over time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work, his employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter and said, "This is your house... my gift to you."

What a shock!

What a shame!

If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that we would have done it differently.

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project."

Who could say it more clearly? Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

The Rose

2009-01-16T13:14:00.005+08:00

There's a story about a woman who did not keep a tidy house. One day someone gave her a beautiful rose which she brought home and put in a vase in her parlor. The rose, though, showed up the vase which was tarnished and dusty, so she polished the vase and set the rose and vase on the table.

But now something was wrong with the table. It looked terrible. It had to be cleaned as well. At last the woman stood back and admired the sparkling table, the polished vase, and the beautiful rose.

But to her dismay, the whole parlor now seemed dull and murky. Before she knew it, she found herself scrubbing the walls, washing the curtains, and opening the windows to let light and air into every dark corner.

The moral of the story is if you make one small change in your life, light up one small corner, in no time your whole life can take on a different look. If you're dissatisfied with your life at this point, give some serious consideration to that one area you could change.

The Bus Driver and the Wrestler

2009-01-14T08:25:00.008+08:00

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus,and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!," the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger,and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Moral of the story -
"Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."

The Two Pots

2009-01-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

A water bearer had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house. The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

''I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.''

''Why?'' asked the bearer. ''What are you ashamed of?''

''I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts,'' the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, 'Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw (uniqueness), and so had planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, we would not have had these beautiful flowers''

Each of us has our own unique flaws, and it is these flaws which make as so unique and special.

"So much of our lives is given over to the consideration of our imperfections that there is no time to improve our imaginary virtues. The truth is we only perfect our vices, and man is a worse creature when he dies than he was when he was born." - Edward Dahlberg

Three Little Words

2009-01-09T13:53:00.006+08:00

There are many things that we can do to perk up and strengthen our interpersonal relationships. Yet the most effective involves the saying of just three words. When spoken or conveyed, these statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled. The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship and make a lot of difference in one's life.

I'll Be There
If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase "I'll be there." Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

I Miss You
Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say "I miss you".

I Respect You
Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bond and become close friends. This applies to all inter-personal relationships.

Maybe You're Right
This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side to "Maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting, "Maybe I'm wrong". Let's face it. When you have a heated argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person's point of view. They, or you, will not change their/your stance and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying "Maybe you're right" can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.

Please Forgive Me
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I Thank You
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

Count On Me
A friend is one who walks in, when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating you can "count on me."

Let Me Help
The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I Understand You
People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know in so many little ways that you understand her/him, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. This applies to any relationship.

I Love You
Perhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs; the need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your family, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words, "I love you".

Three Men and A Temple

2009-01-07T08:38:00.011+08:00

About a 1000 years ago, a sage was drawn to a construction site. He watched from the edge of a clearing in the forest as the workmen bent over their individual tasks. Finally his curiosity drove him to one workman at the edge of the site, whom he asked "What are you doing, my good man?"

The workman looked up briefly and went back to his work "I'm working" he said curtly. Not satisfied with the answer, the sage approached a second workman to ask him the same question.

"You can see I'm breaking stones" he replied.

The sage was made of stern stuff and he wasn't leaving without an answer, so he walked over to a third workman with the question.

"I'm building a temple" replied this workman smilingly.

The incident opened the sage's eyes, because all three of them were breaking boulders into smaller stones, but in their minds they were not doing the same jobs. The third workman was working for a cause much larger than himself and it showed in his approach to work.

You can just do a day's work, or build a career, a team, an organization, or a nation. Grow the small pictures that others see, so your big picture gets progressively even bigger. You can choose your perspective and your role in life. Be the one who builds the temple. Not the one who breaks the stones. Choose to see the larger picture or choose to see the smaller picture.

Look At The Other Side

2009-01-05T13:34:00.005+08:00

A father was reading a magazine and his little daughter would every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with a perfect map... When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, “Oh... Dad, there is a man’s face on the other side of the paper... I made the face perfect to get the map right." she ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. This story indirectly teaches a lesson. That is, whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side... You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2008-12-19T08:31:00.002+08:00

I will be away from next week and will not be doing any new posting in my blog during this period.

Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Happy Holidays!

The Japanese and their Fish

2008-12-18T13:26:00.002+08:00

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish. If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh. To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish.

The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis!

But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan. How did they manage? To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark.

The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull? Basically in our lives, sharks are new challenges to keep us active. If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges keep you energized. Don't create success and revel in it in a state of inertia. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character" - Albert Einstein

The Touchstone

2008-12-15T09:10:00.002+08:00

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers. The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed.

It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone" ! The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold. So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles.

He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.

The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about midafternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.

So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.

The Father and Daughter Story

2008-12-12T09:40:00.004+08:00

Here is a short story with a beautiful message...

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.

'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.'

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...

The Farmer and His Neighbours

2008-12-09T11:50:00.006+08:00

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn.

Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honour and prizes.

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours'.

"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.

"Why sir, “said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn.

If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."

The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbours’ corn also improves. So it is in the other dimensions!

Those who choose to be at harmony must help their neighbours and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well. The value of a life is measured by the lives it touches….

SUCCESS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN ISOLATION. IT IS VERY OFTEN A PARTICIPATIVE AND COLLECTIVE PROCESS.

So please share the good practices, ideas, new learning with your family, friends, team members, neighbours….

“Success breeds Success"….

The Painter

2008-12-05T15:46:00.010+08:00

Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course under the disciple hood of a great painter. This young artist decided to assess his skills, so he decided to give his best strokes on the canvass. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery.

Suddenly an idea flashed in his mind and he put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read-"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."

While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.

Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master's place and burst into tears. Sobbing and crying inconsolably he told his master about what happened and showed the pathetic state of his creation which was filled with marks everywhere. This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely.. I feel like dying "Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt a flawless painting."

Young disciple couldn't believe it and said "I have lost faith in me and I don't think I am good enough... Don’t make false hopes...”"Do as I say without questioning it.. It WILL work." Master interrupted him. "Just paint exactly similar painting once again for me and give it to me. Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled. "Come with me.” master said.

They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."

Master and disciple walked back home.

They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found the painting remained untouched..

They kept the painting there for a month but no correction was made on it!

It is easier to criticize, but difficult to improve.

If you want to help people improve their behavior it is worth investing your effort in learning how to help people change their behaviors, attitudes and skills.

The Story of the Butterfly

2008-12-03T12:24:00.006+08:00

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress.

It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets, and don't forget the power in the struggle. Live life without fear, confront all obstacles and know that you can overcome them.

The Farmer and The Old Mule

2008-12-01T08:41:00.006+08:00

The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule 'braying' or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together and told them what had happened and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back: he should shake it off and step up! This he did, blow after blow. "Shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up!" he repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or distressing the situation seemed the old mule fought "panic" and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up!

You're right! It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him, actually blessed him.

All because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

While the story above does make us smile, it does have wisdom in it. How we handle adversity determines our success in life. One of my favorite quotes on adversity is, "Adversity is a fact of life. It can't be controlled. What we can control is how we react to it." When faced with adversity we can give up and adopt the poor me attitude. Or we can look at adversity as an opportunity to find other ways to do things. We can be determined, persistent and persevere. It all comes down to your choice - and it is a choice of attitude! While reflecting on this story consider the following quotes on adversity:

"Adversity causes some men to break, others to break records." - William A. Ward

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." - Napoleon Hill

"Obstacles can't stop you. Problems can't stop you. Most of all other people can't stop you. Only you can stop you." - Jeffrey Gitomer

"Adversity precedes growth." - Rosemarie Rossett

"Prosperity is a great teacher; Adversity is a greater." - Hazlitt

"Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity." - Lou Holtz

"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Og Mandino

Think About This...

2008-11-27T11:19:00.007+08:00

Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight;
Just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in

Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; don't despair;
There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work;
Think of the man who has been out of work for the last three months.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad;
Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend;
Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week, for -15.00 to feed her family.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance;
Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror;
Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking "what is my purpose";
Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities;
Remember, things could be worse. You could be them!!!

Two Glasses Of Wine

2008-11-26T08:59:00.004+08:00

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the he sand filled up everything else He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now', said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.' The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.'

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. Do one more run down the ski slope. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine with a friend.'

Put The Glass Down

2008-11-24T08:09:00.011+08:00

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?' '50gms!'....'100gms!'.....'125gms' .....
the students answered. 'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, 'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?' 'Nothing' the students said. 'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked. 'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students. 'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?''Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!' ventured another student and all the students laughed. 'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' asked the professor. 'No' 'Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?' The students were puzzled. 'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.
'Exactly!' said the professor.'

Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK. Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they Begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh and strong and can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!'

So, as it becomes time for you to leave the office today, remember to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY! '

Silence

2008-11-21T08:32:00.008+08:00

Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you just ran out of words and you go... S i l e n t ???

Let me assist you in recalling...

.... the moment when you left your home for the first time and you look back at your parents who are worried that their son/daughter are leaving them yet happy that their child took the first step towards independence.

..... the moment when the girl/boy you like most.. smiled back at you! You don't say anything.. you just smile back..

..... the moment when you get better marks than you expected... those "numb" moments of ecstasy n surprise "is that true?"...

..... the moment when you are parting with your old friend(s) and the train has just started... and you are standing on the door of the wagon.. waving "bye-bye" with your heart beating fast...

... .. the moment after the HR manager has just called you and told you,"You are through! Congrats!"

..... the moment when you sit alone in your room after having told everyone that you cleared that exam you prepared for 6 months!!

You can go on remembering your "special" moments!

I had always wondered why I never said anything to myself at those moments.. as if it was "understood"... happiness, joy, pain.. all feelings just flowed ceaselessly in the 'years' that passed in those flash moments!

They say.. the best way to communicate is through "silence".
Love. Joy. Grief. Surprise. Anger. Hope. Expectations. Support.Non-cooperation...

Can you imagine the importance of a silent moment in a song??
When Bryan Adams stops for a while along with music, before he goes on in his husky voice....... Please forgive me. I can't stop loving you!

Ever had those moments when you thought you were tired enough that you reach for your bed after dinner.. but find yourself wide awake looking at the roof of your room silently...

But you sure are 'thinking'... those moments of self-talk are the most important in our lives. Those moments when we listen to our own hearts! Those promises... those decisions... those are the moments when we make our destinies!

Next time you go silent... listen carefully to what your heart is saying.. listen to its joy...listen to its pain.. listen to its fears.. listen to its desires..and Be in touch with your true self...

Look Around You

2008-11-19T08:06:00.005+08:00

A very special teacher in high school many years ago had a husband who unexpectedly died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she shared some of her insight with a classroom of students. As the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows and the class was nearly over, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there.

With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she paused and said, "Before class is over, I would like to share with all of you a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important. Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves... and none of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is God's way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single day."

Her eyes beginning to water, she went on, "So I would like you all to make me a promise... from now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice. It doesn't have to be something you see - it could be a scent - perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground. Please, look for these things, and cherish them.

For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the "stuff" of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted. We must make it important to notice them, for at any time ... it can all be taken away."

The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester. Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.

Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot. Or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.

Life Is Beautiful (5)

2008-11-18T07:47:00.003+08:00

LIfe is Beautiful (4)

2008-11-17T08:49:00.003+08:00

Life Is Beautiful (3)

2008-11-14T08:32:00.003+08:00

Life Is Beautiful (2)

2008-11-13T08:00:00.001+08:00

Life Is Beautiful (1)

2008-11-12T10:16:00.006+08:00

Reserves Make Life Easy

2008-11-10T14:04:00.006+08:00

A very good and practical article by Philip Humbert
The recent turmoil in our financial markets has reminded many of us that in times of trouble, "cash is king." Many years ago, one of my mentors, Thomas Leonard, tried to teach me this using the phrase that, "Reserves make everything easy."

Thomas' focus was that even the most difficult things in life are "easy" if we are prepared. I've known two people who have attempted to climb Mt Everest and both say even that extreme challenge is straight-forward and "easily tackled" with good preparation.

The famous football coach, Vince Lombardi, used to say that it wasn't the "will to win" that created championship teams--everyone wants to win!--it was "the will to prepare to win" that made all the difference.

I'm convinced that both Thomas Leonard and Vince Lombardi knew what they were talking about. Thomas preferred the term "reserves." I suspect partly that was because he liked being distinctive and "having reserves" resonates differently than copying the Boy Scout motto, "Be prepared." But both are sound advice.

Thomas talked about having "reserves" in every area of life. I still laugh when I think of him lecturing me on having extra boxes of tissue in the house and insisting I change the oil in my car before it was due. Obviously, he didn't care about tissue or oil changes. His point was that life gets very, very hard (stressful, chaotic, hurried) when we feel squeezed by circumstances. Never do anything at the last minute! Allow time. Schedule in advance. Maintain plenty of "reserve."

Life will inevitably throw problems our way. This week my wireless router quit and our network died. By connecting my computer directly to the modem I could continue working, but far more helpful was my long-standing relationship with our "computer guy." One phone call and on Thursday we were back in business. A problem? Sure. Annoying? Of course. But easily handled and life goes on. That's what Thomas wanted me to "get" about reserves.

Here are a few areas where I recommend you maintain extra reserves:

1. Personal finances. Whether it's $50 in your wallet or a family savings account for the emergencies that will eventually happen (car repairs, unscheduled travel), maintain some "extra." Many people use credit cards for these unplanned expenses, but I prefer knowing cash is on my side.

2. Daily Schedule. Most of us live hectic lives and the thought of "extra time" seems "impossible. " But it's not impossible. Schedule time for yourself. Schedule time to meditate, take a walk or a bath, read a book or write in your journal. If unplanned events demand extra time you have it, but most days you get a nice "treat" just for you!

3. Everyday Consumables. Reduce the "hassle factor" in life! From extra food in the cupboard to toilet paper in the closet or a stash of office supplies, make sure you never "have to" run an unscheduled errand. Plan ahead. Buy in bulk. You don't need a garage full of stuff, but interrupting your day to chase one or two items is incredibly expensive! Don't do it. Maintain reserves.

4. Personal Relationships. Relationships require maintenance. Put some "extra" into your friendships. Extra time. Extra thought. When appropriate send cards, notes, flowers, or have a cup of coffee, go for a walk, watch a movie, play tennis. Quality relationships don't just happen. They must be built. Maintain generous, loving reserves in your most important relationships.

We seem to be entering tough economic times. So prepare. Take care of yourself. The temptation is to run faster and work harder, but don't fall into that trap! In tough times you want to be sharp, alert and quick. Stay focused. Keep your edge. Maintain your reserves! It makes life easier and gives you the resources to seize opportunity when it comes your way.

Encouragement, Praises & Positive Words

2008-11-06T11:56:00.002+08:00

A story from Carrie Wilkerson
(wife, mom, speaker & author)

LauraLee, our 11-month old, has been really focusing on her walking! She will be 1 in a few weeks and she decided about 6 weeks ago that walking looked like something she wanted to figure out! This is my 4th walker and so I've not been rushing her, but I have been intently watching the process.

She's wobbly. She falls a lot. She sometimes needs a hand to hold, sometimes just a pinkie or finger for confidence. She prefers to walk towards someone who is reaching out their arms for her. She's bumped and scraped from obstacles. When she hits her head (or any other body part) it doesn't seem to hurt as much as normal because she's so focused on her destination. But, most importantly, she keeps getting up and trying again.

Things I've noticed about those of us around her. We clap when she takes steps (even if it's just one or two). We reach out to help her up when she topples. We praise her and cheer for her (yes, even if she falls flat). We hold our arms out for her so she knows where she can fall safely. We tell everyone about her successes. We dwell on the steps, not the tumbles. And most importantly, we encourage her to get up and try again.

Not ONCE have I heard anyone say, "well, you've fallen - this walking stuff might not be for you. You should stick to crawling."

"I know someone that tried that and still can't walk, just save yourself the trouble."

"Wow, that sure is taking you a long time to figure out. Your sister walked a lot faster than you did."

"You know you're not supposed to walk yet. This is too early. Sit back down and let us carry you for awhile."

"Why would you want to bother with that when you're already so good at crawling?"
"Don't, Don't, Don't - you know you always fall when you do that!"

Interesting, isn't it?? There are SO MANY parallels in this lesson that I hardly know where to begin! Are you surrounding your family, friends, and business associates with encouragement, praise, and positive words? Are you telling them why they CAN succeed instead of why they cannot?

And just as important - are you surrounding YOURSELF with others that encourage YOU in that same way? LauraLee knows she is in a safe place, surrounded by people who love her and want her to be the best baby she can be! They want her to learn new things, to progress in her 'walk,' her journey. And in the meantime, will you choose someone today that might need your arms to reach out to? They might need a finger to hold (or just the end of your pinkie)? Is there someone that needs you clapping for them? Find them today. Help them in their walk.

Positive Attitude

2008-11-04T13:22:00.000+08:00

Very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had three remaining strands of hair on her head, and being a positive soul, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she braided her three hair, and she had a great day.

Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning, preparing for her day, she saw that she had only two strands of hair remaining. "Hmm, two strands of hair... I fancy a center parting today." She duly parted it, and as ever, she had a great day.

A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left on her head. "One hair huh...," she mused, "I know a pony-tail will be perfect." And again she had a great day.

The next morning she looked in the mirror. She was completely bald.

"Finally bald huh," she said to herself, "How wonderful! I won't have to waste time doing my hair any more...”

We may face different kinds of incidences in life. It’s our insight whether we perceive it positively or negatively.

Life is your own battlefield. Your life today is the result of your approach, mind sets and choices while your life tomorrow will be the outcome of the attitudes and choices you make today! So it’s important for you think and behave positively.

Salt, Pepper and the Spices of Life

2008-11-03T08:45:00.000+08:00

You’re sitting at a table, having a meal with some friends. Bowls of soup are served to everyone at the table. Before tasting the soup, the person next to you reaches for the salt and pepper, and for the next 20 seconds vigorously shakes into the soup more salt and pepper than you would use in a month.

You have a pained look on your face. These thoughts immediately go through your mind: 'Why would you put salt and pepper in soup, or on any dish, BEFORE you taste it? How do you know how much to add?' You might also think, 'How can someone put so much salt and pepper in their food?'

Of course, the roles could be reversed. You might be the one who loves to put a lot of salt and pepper on your food and the person next to you eats the soup without adding salt or pepper. In that case, you think, 'How can she eat this bland
soup without putting any seasoning in it?'

When it comes to salt, pepper, onions, garlic, curry or just about any type of seasoning, we tend to see things only one way - OUR way. It's hard for us to understand how someone could enjoy food when it is not seasoned as we think is appropriate. We cringe when we see someone 'overdoing' or 'under-doing' the spices.

How we season our food is a matter of preference and personal taste. There is no right or wrong way to use seasonings. Furthermore, the way in which another applies salt and pepper does not affect us in any way. They're not putting the salt and pepper in YOUR soup. They are putting the spices in their own soup.

Our world is so diverse, and yet it is difficult for us to accept each other's preferences. Often, when we see people doing things we wouldn't do, our mind says:

"Why aren't they thinking as I think?"

"Why aren't they acting as I would act?"

Your mind would often have you believe that your way is superior. Your beliefs and habits are shaped by your genetics and your environment. Each person has different genetics and growing up in an environment that is different than yours. Why expect everyone to come to the same conclusion?

Our spiritual growth comes when we learn to accept that others have different preferences, and we honor those preferences. There is no universal religion that everyone will agree to practice. There is no universal political viewpoint that all will accept. There is no one way of raising children that all cultures will agree upon. Marriage customs will vary from culture to culture.

Getting people to agree on these issues is like trying to get everyone to use the same amount of salt and pepper on their food. It's not going to happen.

The diversity in this world is beautiful and we can open our hearts to it. Within our own country and in our relations with people in other countries, we need to continually remind ourselves that it's perfectly acceptable for people to have
preferences. If the other person is not harming us, why can't we just smile and get on with life?

The next time you're tempted to judge or criticize the way other people think or act, realize that in most cases, they're just using a different amount of salt or pepper than you would use. Allow them to have their preferences, and there is no need to even consider what YOU would do.

"You cannot always oblige but you can always speak obligingly"

Celebrate The Goodness

2008-10-31T08:12:00.000+08:00

The head of a cloistered monastery became very frustrated with the bickering and conflict among the monks who were in his charge. He felt helpless in finding a solution to this ongoing problem. One day, he was brilliantly inspired with the right and perfect solution. Knowing that behaviors can change if there is a compelling reason to do so, he called all of the monks together.

He said, "I am so pleased to share this wonderfully exciting news with you today. I have learned that one among you is a divinely chosen and blessed being who is one of God's specially selected ministers. We are so fortunate to have this person among us. I know that each of you shares this excitement with me." With no further word, he turned and left the monks alone.

The monks sat for a moment and looked around at each other. The puzzlement and then the wonder in their eyes were evident as they looked to each other for some sign of the "blessed one." There was outer silence, but each monk experienced similar inner dialog. "I wonder who it is? Who among us seems most likely to be God's special being? I wonder if I have insulted the blessed one?..." On and on went the inner dialog.

The bickering among the monks seem to cease almost immediately as they did their best not to insult or antagonize the one who was held in special esteem by God. Since there was no indication of who the special monk was, all of the monks treated each other with respect, courtesy, and great fondness.

Weeks went by. The excitement and curiosity abated and the monks settled down into their usual routine. However, the habit of bickering had been replaced with the habit of respect, courtesy, and a willingness to explore solutions to their problems. There was peace in the monastery.

This wonderful story reflects what actually takes place every day in the workplace. What if we treated our co-workers as though they are "divinely special beings" with our motive not being one of fear, but simply wanting peace in the workplace more than we want anything else?

When we begin to look at others with compassionate eyes, speak words of kindness, and think of others with a desire to understand them, we will begin to change. And, interestingly enough so will they. What goes around, comes around.

"Just for this moment, this day, this week, I will look for the goodness in others, as I look for and celebrate the goodness in myself."

The Window

2008-10-29T15:23:00.000+08:00

A young couple moves into a new neighbourhood. The next morning, while they were eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbour hanging wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she said, “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbour would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, “Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her.”

The husband said” “I got up early and cleaned our windows!”

And so it with life:

“What we see when watching others, depend on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves, if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking at something in the person we are about to judge.”

The Turtles

2008-10-28T13:00:00.000+08:00

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'

Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.

The Frogs

2008-10-26T14:57:00.000+08:00

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'

Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

The Pretty Lady

2008-10-23T08:28:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.

All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusation about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite”. The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'

This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river that is after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.

Thoughts Of The Day

2008-10-22T09:08:00.000+08:00

1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can’t please everyone. Don’t let criticism worry you.
5. Don’t let your neighbour set your standard. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can’t travel, read about new places.
10.Don’t hold postmortems. Don’t spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don’t be one who never gets over things.
11.Do what you can for those less fortunate than you.
12.Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.

How Many Apples are in One Apple Seed?

2008-10-20T08:38:00.000+08:00

Clark and Mason were sitting in the break room talking about business strategies for their small company. Mason, ever the worrier, was expressing his frustrations over how "quick success" seemed to be eluding them. Mason said to Clark, "I can't see any evidence of our hard work. It seems like every thing that we have done has been to no avail."

Clark, a more seasoned businessperson, sat listening to his business partner, while peeling a big red apple. He understood Mason's frustration. Early in his business career, Clark had similar feelings and often gave up on his goals prematurely because he did not believe in himself. Fortunately, Clark gained understanding of the need for belief and patience.

Holding up the apple he was peeling, Clark said to Mason, "See this apple, Mason. When I cut it in half, we can count the number of seeds in it." Clark cut the apple in half and noted the number of seeds in the core of the apple. He held up one seed for Mason to see. "However," Clark continued, "we cannot count the number of apples in one seed." Mason looked at Clark as he momentarily struggled to understand how Clark's example related to his concerns.

Clark continued, "We cannot know how many “trees” will grow and bear fruit from our efforts thus far. Now is the time to assume that our seed will bear fruit, to see the orchard filled with trees loaded with apples, which have been fertilized with belief and confidence, and watered with enthusiasm. We must be careful not to allow the weeds of negativity and doubt strangle the new plants as they struggle to grow into fruit-bearing trees."

Often, it is very difficult for us to see beyond what is present, or absent, for a period of time after we have made a decision and taken action. The silence between the time that we launch our goal and when we begin to see the results of our efforts can be deafening. It is during this time that we may lose momentum and enthusiasm for our goals.

Also, our ability to see thousands of apples in one apple seed may separate the truly successful people from those who experience only a modicum of success.

“I will maintain a vision of what I want, need or desire, confident in my abilities to achieve success even when I cannot yet see the results of my effort”.

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee..

2008-10-16T17:16:00.000+08:00

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first pt, she placed carrots, in the second pot, she placed eggs, and in the last pot, she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity..boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

The Square Watermelon

2008-10-15T07:43:00.000+08:00

Japanese grocery stores had a problem. They are much smaller than their US counterparts and therefore don't have room to waste. Watermelons, big and round, wasted a lot of space. Most people would simply tell the grocery stores that watermelons grow round and there is nothing that can be done about it. That is how I would assume the vast majority of people would respond. But some Japanese farmers took a different approach. If the supermarkets wanted a square watermelon, they asked themselves, "How can we provide one?" It wasn't long before they invented the square watermelon.

The solution to the problem of round watermelons wasn't nearly as difficult to solve for those who didn't assume the problem was impossible to begin with and simply asked how it could be done. It turns out that all you need to do is place them into a square box when they are growing and the watermelon will take on the shape of the box.

This made the grocery stores happy and had the added benefit that it was much easier and cost effective to ship the watermelons. Consumers also loved them because they took less space in their refrigerators which are much smaller than those in the US meaning that the growers could charge a premium price for them.

What does this have do with anything besides square watermelons? There are a few lessons that can you can take away from this story which help you in all parts of your life. Here are a few of them:

Don't Assume: The major problem was that most people had always seen round watermelons so they automatically assumed that square watermelons were impossible before even thinking about the question. Things that you have been doing a certain way your entire life have taken on the aura of the round watermelon and you likely don't even take the time to consider if there is another way to do it. Breaking yourself from assuming this way can greatly improve your overall life as you are constantly looking for new and better ways to do things. This was one of the most difficult things for me to do because most of the assumptions I make, I don't even realize that I'm making them. They seem perfectly logical on the surface, so I have to constantly make an effort to question them.

Question habits: The best way to tackle these assumptions is to question your habits. If you can make an effort to question the way you do things on a consistent basis, you will find that you can continually improve the way that you live your life. Forming habits when they have been well thought out is usually a positive thing, but most of us have adopted our habits from various people and places without even thinking about them. I have changed a large number of habits that I have had after taking the time to question them and continue to do so. Some of them I have know idea where they came from while others I can trace to certain people or instances in my life. It's a never ending process, but by doing this, you can consistently strive toward making all aspects of your life more enjoyable instead of defaulting to what you have now.

Be creative: When faced with a problem, be creative in looking for a solution. This often requires thinking outside the box. Most people who viewed this question likely thought they were being asked how they could genetically alter water melons to grow square which would be a much more difficult process to accomplish. By looking at the question from an alternative perspective, however, the solution was quite simple. Being creative and looking at things in different ways in all portions of your live will help you find solutions to many problems where others can't see them. I am not a creative person, but I've found that the more that you look at things from different perspectives, the more creative I have become. It's a learned art and builds upon itself.

Look for a better way: The square watermelon question was simply seeking a better and more convenient way to do something. The stores had flagged a problem they were having and asked if a solution was possible. It's impossible to find a better way if you are never asking the question in the first place. I try to ask if there is a better way of doing the things that I do and I constantly write down the things I wish I could do (but currently can't) since these are usually hints about steps I need to change. Get into the habit of asking yourself, "Is there a better way I could be doing this?" and you will find there often is.

Impossibilities often aren't : If you begin with the notion that something is impossible, then it obviously will be for you. If, on the other hand, you decide to see if something is possible or not, you will find out through trial and error. Many of the lessons above are what I used to create my online income. As I've said many times, it's not easy, but it's certainly not impossible. Even for those of us that are not A-List Bloggers, creating a full time online income is quite possible as I have shown.

Take away the lessons from the square watermelons and apply them to all areas in your life (work, finances, relationships, etc) and you will find that by consistently applying them, you will constantly be improving all aspects of your life.

Courtsey: Veda Srinivasan Suraj
Infosys Leadership Institute, Mysore

Emotional Well-Being..Basic Human Needs

2008-10-13T09:15:00.000+08:00

If you are suffering from an emotional problem such as depression, anxiety, obsessive behavior or repetitive addictions, there is only one place you should start when looking for a solution. Your Basic Human Needs . . .

It seems obvious, but all too often, when it comes to psychology, common sense goes out the window, and the textbooks come off the bookshelf. Why not leave them there for just now, and ask yourself the following questions...
- If you had no petrol in your car, would you be wondering why it won't start?
- If your garden hadn't seen rain for 6 months, would you be racking your brains about why all the plants had died? Of course, not! But ask human beings to apply the same objective observation to their own lives and you are setting a much trickier task. Apparently, if you chuck a frog into a pan of boiling water, it will hop straight out again. But if you put him in cold water and slowly heat it up, he will sit there until well and truly poached. Problems due to missing 'basics' in peoples’ lives tend to develop over time, and so can be easily missed. Then, when the problem arises - be it anxiety, depression, addiction or some other nasty things - they can't for the life of them fathom out as to why! It's therefore a great idea to know what your own garden needs in order to grow well, so when you see something starting to wither, you can check your list and apply the necessary nutrients.

So here's the list. (The number may vary as per varying discernment and exposures)

1. The need to give and receive attention"
No Man Is An Island" - Without regular quality contact with other people, mental condition, emotional state and behavior can suffer quite drastically. This is often particularly obvious in elderly people who have become isolated. After days alone, their first contact may be their doctor, who sees them for 10 minutes. They are highly likely during this short period to appear 'strange' as their thwarted need for attention asserts itself in an outpouring of communication. If the doctor takes this as representative of the patient's general mental condition, they may prescribe drugs, where really a few hours of being listened to would suffice. You may also have noticed this in evening-class attendees who command the teacher's attention all the time, asking seemingly daft questions and not really listening to the answers!

2. Taking heed of the mind body connection
This is so important, and so often neglected. Without correct and regular nutrition, sleep and exercise, your psychological state can suffer considerably. It is often seen that young people, on leaving home and the structure that provides, succumb to one mental illness or another. Their mealtimes, sleep patterns and other regular habits become disrupted, with predictable consequences. It seems that people are increasingly treating themselves as machines!

3. The need for purpose, goals and meaning
"The devil will make work for idle hands to do." Perhaps the overriding element that sets human beings apart from other animals is the ability to identify, analyze and solve problems. This is what enabled us to develop to where we have. If this ability is under-used, the imagination can start to create problems of its own - perhaps in an attempt to give you something to do because it is not occupied doing anything else. Regardless, if a person is deprived of the outward focus and satisfaction created by achieving goals, mental illness is often close behind. The need for meaning is perhaps even more profound.

4. A sense of community and making a contribution
Tying in with the need for meaning, this basic need provides a context for a person. It gives them a reason for being, over and above their own personal needs, that has been shown to benefit the immune system, mental health and happiness. One obvious fulfiller of this need is religion, but can also be an idea shared with others, a club, charity or community work. In fact, anything that takes the focus off the self.

5. The need for challenge and creativity
Learning something new, expanding horizons, improving on existing skills all provide a sensation of progress and achievement. Without this, a person can feel worthless, or that there is no real reason for their being.

6. The need for intimacy
Tying in with the need for attention, it seems that people have a need to share their ideas, hopes and dreams with others close to them. For some, this can be as simple a talking to a loved pet, but for most of us, it requires that we have at least one individual with whom we can converse 'on the same level'.

7. The need to feel a sense of control
"All your eggs in one basket." The results of total loss of control over your surroundings, relationships or body are not hard to imagine, and have been well documented.From survivors of torture, to someone losing their job, those who are able to maintain a sense of control somewhere in their life fare the best. This is why having a variety of interests and activities is so important.

8. The need for a sense of status
It’s important to feel important. And we all know some people for whom this need is too important! However, if someone feels recognized for being a grandmother or parent or good son or daughter, this may be enough. Young people finding their feet can have improved self-esteem if they feel they have attained a position of trust and recognition.

9. The need for a sense of safety and security
We need to feel our environment is basically secure and reasonably predictable. Financial security, physical safety and health, and the fulfillment of other basic needs all contribute to the completion of this need. As with all of the following needs we can take it too far and become obsessive about it – you will see this sometimes if the need for creativity is not met.

Many Needs, One Life…
It may seem that a life that meets all of these needs would be intolerably busy. But of course, one activity can meet many needs. Charity work for example, could be said to fulfill 1, 3, 4 and 5, and could contribute to 6 and 7. Walking with a friend as a pastime might go towards 1, 2, 3, 5 and 6. Generally, what this suggests, and what has been borne out by recent research, is that a more complex life is a healthier one. Then if one area of life fails or is taken away from you, your basic needs are maintained, at least in part, by those that survive.

So the message is...
If your progress through life has gone a bit awry for you or a friend, check if there is petrol in the car, and that the battery is charged before going to a mechanic to have the engine taken apart!

Riches, Mediocrity And Poverty Begin In The Mind

2008-10-10T12:22:00.000+08:00

Good news or bad news? It depends on how you see things. You can be bitter after being cheated. Or you can choose to move on with your life....

Robert De Vincenzo, the great Argentine golfer, once won a tournament and, after receiving the check and smiling for the cameras, he went to the clubhouse and prepared to leave. Some time later, he walked alone to his car in the parking lot and was approached by a young woman.

She congratulated him on his victory and then told him that her child was seriously ill and near death. She did not know how she could pay the doctor’s bills and hospital expenses.

De Vincenzo was touched by her story, and he took out a pen and endorsed his winning check for payment to the woman. "Make some good days for the baby," he said as he pressed the check into her hand.

The next week he was having lunch in a country club when a Professional Golf Association official came to his table. "Some of the boys in the parking lot last week told me you met a young woman there after you won that tournament." De Vincenzo nodded. "Well," said the official, "I have news for you. She’s a phony. She has no sick baby. She’s not even married. She fleeced you, my friend."

"You mean there is no baby who is dying?" said De Vincenzo.

"That’s right," said the official.

"That’s the best good news I’ve heard all week." De Vincenzo said.

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you'll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. People avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers.

You can give in to the failure messages and be a bitter deadbeat of excuses. Or you can choose to be happy and positive and excited about life.

The difference between can and cannot are only three letters. Three letters that determine your life's direction.

Being positive or negative are habits of thoughts that have a very strong influence on life.

STOP Negative Thoughts

2008-10-09T08:55:00.000+08:00

What we focus on, we empower and enlarge. Good multiplies when focused upon. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The choice is ours: Which do we want more of?"

Negative thinking can make all sorts of things incredibly difficult. It is like a leak in our confidence bucket - constantly drip-drip-dripping away our confidence and self esteem. However, once you begin thinking about what you're "thinking about", you've already taken the first step to controlling negative thoughts. Next time you catch yourself repeating the same negative thoughts over and over in your mind, use the STOP acronym:

1. S - Say the word STOP

Interrupt your internal destructive thoughts. Tell yourself firmly to "STOP" over thinking. Be strict, and don't let them intrude on your thoughts. It also might be helpful to visualize a box to place all your negative thoughts in, which you may open at a later date or time.

2. T - TAKE a break!

Take a deep breath. Then, take a break. Go for a walk or a hike, read a great book, listen to your favorite music. Do something to take your attention away from over thinking, and if possible, change the environment. Also try some relaxation exercises, they often focus on replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

3. O - Focus on the OUTCOME!

Focus on the OUTCOME of your goals. Affirm why you are committed to your goals. The way we feel and what we experience in our body comes from what we focus our attention upon during a given moment. And at any moment, we are "deleting" most of what is going on around us. That is, to feel bad, we have to delete (not focus on, not think about) everything that's great in our life. And vice versa. For us to feel good, we have to delete the things we could feel bad about.

4. P - PRAISE yourself!

PRAISE and acknowledge yourself for the progress you are making. Remember, you're looking for progress, not perfection! Give yourself a reward every time you're successful with overcoming negative thoughts. And remember small changes make a big difference.

By recognizing that you do have negative thoughts you've taken the first step. Now, start playing Devil's Advocate and challenge yourself to find the positive. Turn your thoughts around and your moods will follow suit.

And remember, You Are What You Think!

When In Doubt, Risk It

2008-10-08T07:48:00.000+08:00

A blind man had been waiting a while at a busy road for someone to offer to guide him across, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me," said the taper, "I'm blind - would you mind guiding me across the road?"

The first blind man took the arm of the second blind man, and they both crossed the road.

Apparently this is a true story. The first blind man was the jazz pianist George Shearing. He commented on this incidence “What could I do? I took him across and it was the biggest thrill of my life."

There are times when we think we cannot do something and so do not stretch or take a risk. Being forced to stretch and take a risk can often help us to reduce our dependencies (on others, or our own personal safety mechanisms), and to discover new excitement and capabilities.

Action Plan-

Do one thing every day that scares you.
Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase - that's what wild geese are for.
Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew

The Source Of The Problem

2008-10-07T08:49:00.000+08:00

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so, He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:

The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, it could be very much within us!

Needing Each Other

2008-10-06T11:18:00.000+08:00

Have you had the desire to isolate yourself recently? As conflicts arise in the workplace and remain unresolved, we may become convinced that we could work better alone. At times, we may also become convinced that we do not need others in our lives. The following story demonstrates why the exact opposite is true.

A boy was extended an invitation to visit his uncle who was a lumberjack up in the Northwest... His uncle met him at the depot. As the two pursued their way to the lumber camp, the boy was impressed by the enormous size of the trees on every land. There was a gigantic tree, which he observed standing all alone on top of a small hill. The boy, full of awe, called out excitedly, "Uncle George, look at that big tree! It will make a lot of good lumber, won't it?"

Uncle George slowly shook his head, then replied, "No, son, that tree will not make a lot of good lumber. It might make a lot of lumber, but not a lot of good lumber. When a tree grows off by itself, too many branches grow on it. Those branches produce knots when the tree is cut into lumber. The best lumber comes when they grow together in groves. The trees also grow taller and straighter when they grow together." It is so with people. We become better individuals, more useful timber, when we grow together. (Author unknown)

It takes more than one tree to make a forest. When there is a storm, the surrounding trees share the punishing winds, rains, and snow, sometimes affording protection to the trees in the middle. Such is the case with the people with whom we work and live. Their presence can help us grow tall and strong as we grow personally and spiritually.

While there is beauty in the many branches that a solitary tree may spawn, the knotholes may weaken the fiber of the tree just as isolating ourselves from others may weaken us.

“I stand tall and strong, secure in the knowledge that the presence of other trees around me makes me even stronger.” - Mary Rau-Foster